I was thinking… as always and I want to share that. I was thinking that there are times that we write to make a statement of something we already know (that we think we know) and times we write because we are confused or insecure and (we believe we are) distant from reality hoping that by writing our thoughts down will help us make them more clear.But “reasons for writing” is not my topic. It just came up. I have many topics to be honest… So many that I can’t fit them in my head all at the same time in order to make a point. So complex and interrelated between them that if I start thinking about one of them and those that are related with it and then about those that are related to those that are related with the first one, I start forgetting which the first one was. And let me not start with the alternatives for each one.
I have to narrow my thinking down (though I can’t) because the brainstorm that I’m going through right now is such a mind job that it actually brings me a headache. So, let me tell you a story about you (or me or him or her).
Let’s start with feelings. You like to see feelings as the most addictive drug. They can make you a hero or put you to sleep (straight into nothingness). Feelings more than anything else determine your potentials in any part of your life (it’s the driving force you see, the energy, the gas). Today for instance you were feeling tired. You tried to relax so you were feeling relaxed. You turned off the lights, put some music on, got some whiskey and rolled a cigarette. Then you were feeling nostalgic. You started remembering of your youth. There are words coming at your mind. Words such as action, power, innocence, restless, breathless, intimacy, improvisation, romance, fun, laughter, dream, images, feelings. And then you realize! Simplicity…
But of course! Simplicity. Back then it was so much easier to distinguish everything. Good from bad, love from hate, tears from laughter, friends from enemies, truth from lie, black from white. And everybody looked happy. That’s how the world should be. But it’s not and everybody is miserable so life sucks and we can all go and die. So… simple. End of story.
Well, I disagree with you guys. Because you see things aren’t that simple. Now some of you might think that that sucks and that things should be be as simple as possible. Well it’s not a matter of less is more or of I want to keep this child inside me or of right or wrong (or even of choice of living). None of these. I was thinking about it you see and I found out that one of the keys to simplicity is clear consciousness (that is very simplified I guess). But clear consciousness is not that simple you see. Actually it doesn’t even matter.
If you handle complexity you enjoy the game more. But does happiness derives from the ability to keep a distance from what you are living or from full involvement in what you are living? In other words, living for the moment or living each thing as part of something bigger? I used to think that we leave for one thing per moment. That’s not the case anymore because we live with multiple expectations.
And I’m thinking… Is this complexity that complex that it doesn’t really matter since we might never be able to handle it that it actually becomes simple? Is this what confidence and arrogance comes from? Simplicity? How dangerous can that be? Being simple… How many things do you ignore/sacrifice in the name of simplicity? Could it be a way to avoid consequences of our actions? By simplifying things… You have this take me or leave me attitude? How simple is that?
Is it about optimism? Is it about positivism? Is it about instinct? Is it about caring? Is there something that we can live by? A rule of thump maybe… Is there greatness at all? Is there poetry? I know there is beauty. So I start from there… creativity.
And now I’ll have to stop because I forgot the first thing… I guess now you see my point. Balance. Tomorrow the man in the mirror will not be the same but that happens everyday so what’s the difference? Every man is unique just like everybody else.
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